It's been a while. Five months to be exact.
So much has happened. I've gone from feeling positive about this year to wanting it to zoom before my eyes. My friends have gone to shit. I'm going on holiday in two weeks with Beau and Rachel. I keep crying about it, I'm dreading it so. But I'm buying a ton of books to take with me, so I'll have something to do if I'm alone for too long. Once I get this week out of the way, I'll be fine.
We got a house for September. It's beautiful. It's big as well. Maybe too big for the four of us, but no doubt we'll have Zak staying over every other weekend. Last year I said it was a shocker I was getting closer to my course mates. Well, prepare to be shocked, since we're all good friends now. We had our last night out on Monday for this year, and I came home Tuesday and sobbed my heart out. It's weird. I've thrown myself at them and they're already better than my friends at home. Last Friday we got some news that shook us all up, and everyone was there for one another. I know if anything terrible ever happens to me, they'd come running at the drop of a hat. They make me do silly things during ring of fire and laugh at my drunken ramblings, but I adore the lot of them.
There's a boy. He's nice to me. That's enough to have me fall. We have make out sessions at daft o clock in the morning. If I try to move away from him when he's asleep, he pulls me back. He doesn't appreciate Dave Grohl like I do, but he knows the dance to Rollin', so he redeems himself slightly. Rachel keeps putting doubts in my head. There's a distance between us this summer. It's ridiculous. But we have plans for September, lots of plans. I move in on the 1st. He'll already be there. Rachel thinks he'll find someone else. Or go off me entirely. Liz reckons she's jealous, but she's making me doubt everything. I don't know. I guess we'll see.
I've been down all week. I want it to be September 1st now. All that is set in stone for the summer is Bulgaria on 10th June, Papa Roach on 17th July, the big 2-0 on the 24th July and a night out on the 23rd. After that, it's a massive void of doing little hours at work and planning my independent study - which I've just managed to get started. I want to see as little of Rachel, Beau and Liz as possible. They're no good for me at the moment, and I don't think my mental health can handle much more of their mind games and messing around.
So much time and not enough to do.
