Yet another month goes by and things have done a massive u-turn.
Beau's quickly become my best friend. We stuck together like glue in Bulgaria, a week which wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. If I'm honest, it was definitely one of the better holidays I've had. I can't listen to the Party Rock Anthem now without dying to be back in Amigos doing the shuffle on the bar, or dancing around Amora, stealing drinks off the bar troopers. Those seven days pushed me and Beau together, we've so many secrets and inside jokes and memories, but at the same time it put a massive distance between me and Rachel. I can't think of her without anger building up inside me. She's done me more wrong than I was willing to admit, but this last thing was the tip of the iceberg.
So, we had that much fun in Bulgaria that we were planning to go back. Beau fell for a bar trooper and I fully supported it. Instead, she got herself a job over there. Promotions for Amora. I'm happy for her. At the same time, I'm jealous - I wanted to go back and work as well, but for reasons that I'll get to in a minute, I can't this summer. I'm glad she's got this amazing opportunity and I'm excited for her to leave, but the selfish bitch in me wants her to stay. I need her with me to get me through all the bullshit. I need her to still live in the same country so I can call her whenever and go out for a few drinks. She's not going to be here for my 20th, and I was already dreading it enough. I'm just not sure I can get through this summer without her.
I failed focus 2. A, B+, B, C+, FAIL. I cried down the phone to mum and dad. The former had a go, the latter promised me an Alter Bridge ticket. Then Beau and Rachel took me to the Castle for a pizza and Amora. I've not been that drunk and happy for a long time.
I think I fucked everything up with the boy. I made out with a bar trooper and there was photographic evidence. It was never meant to make facebook, but one betrayal made sure it did. I think he's seen it. He stopped replying to my texts and boasts about the girls he's been out with. It hurts, I'm not going to lie, it fucking hurts. But I'm not doing anything about it. I'm not making the effort anymore. We'll see what goes down on 1st September, but till then, I'm done.
In the past month, I've learned a lot.
My best friend isn't that anymore. She's a jealous bitch who I plan to keep around till my birthday and after that I'm severing all ties. Beau's good in a crisis. My mother knows me better than I thought she did. Live music is the cure to all heartache. If I'm making out with a boy that's not him, make sure the jealous bitch doesn't have a camera to hand. Dancing on bars is extremely fun. As are foam parties. Being spontaneous and stupid is something you can get away with till you're at least 25. I want to work in Sunny Beach next summer, and Beau's my ticket there.
