There's a shit storm coming.
I feel like in the past few days a lot has changed. My perspective on certain people has become blurred and what I thought I was certain about, I'm now not.
I thought at this stage I had everyone figured out. Last week I knew who I could trust. And the total number of people wasn't many. It was around six people. Three of whom, I don't get to see as often as I'd like to these days. The other day, things changed. A massive shift seemed to happen and suddenly, my trustworthy people list is down to five.
She's never done anything wrong to me. I'm not gonna lie and pretend that she has, because in all fairness, she hasn't. I like her. I just don't like some of her behaviour. I hated how she spoke to my boyfriend that night after the quiz. She can be extremely patronising and her constant complaining when she has lived (and still does) a very charmed life. Click of the fingers and parents come running. She doesn't have a weekly budget to get her through each semester until the next loan payment goes in her bank account. She can afford to go to expensive meals at Japanese restaurants and can afford three courses and several drinks if we go to cheaper establishments. I won't lie, I envy her for materialistic reasons, but it's never come between us. She's jealous of my relationship with my father and the fact he's taken me to rock gigs since I was 13. I'd much rather have seen my favourite bands live than own a ridiculous amount of expensive make up.
I hate her a little bit. For making Kim feel like she does. But then again, I still hate Kim. I hate her for how she treated us and a couple of days of being pleasant does not take back the fact I have stressed, made myself ill and cried for hours to Gary about it. And almost crying in Moy's office last week when I hit breaking point.
I don't want to waste the last few months we have together. One is burying her head in the sand and pretending like nothing is happening, and the other is all out bitching about her and laughing at the prospect of an argument.
Personally, I loathe confrontation. Not gonna lie, a bit of bitching here and there is fine by me, everyone does it. But it's when rumours start and things get blown up out of proportion that I hate. And how they have to air everything on Facebook to get people on side and so everyone can see who the bad/good guys are. I'm trying not to get involved but it's so hard when one bitches about the other to me. I'm caught in the middle and I never intended to be.
There's not much of a way out, but only to spend time with them when I absolutely have to.
The only issue is, how do you tell someone they've been the problem all this time, when in actual fact, they didn't think they were?
