Went to see Theory of a Deadman last Friday. Incredible. Just truly amazing. Tyler Connolly is becoming one of my favourite front men. He was entertaining and good at commanding the crowd. They played quite a balance of material, mainly off The Truth Is and Scars & Souvieners, but since they're the only albums of theirs I own, I wasn't complaining. They did a few off Gasoline. Quite liked Santa Monica, but the lyrics feel a bit too close for me to download it and listen to it on a regular basis. Maybe when I stop feeling this mixed up. The Crave too were fabulous as always, Ryan's vocal seems to get stronger the more times I see them. Shame they did more newer stuff that hasn't been released yet so there wasn't much singing along, but they did do Breaking the Silence and a couple of others off the album. Good night.
This week I've had some sort of an epiphany. I had a little cry on Wednesday to Gary and then woke up Thursday morning thinking 'what the fuck am I doing?' Basically, I don't want to waste these last few months of university and I don't want to look back and think I wasted my time being bitter/angry/upset, when I could have just let it go and had a good time. So, I've taken steps towards being a bit more positive about things in general. So what if Kim wants to be a bitch and has wound up getting Darren and Amy on her side? If they don't want to be my friend, then fuck them. There are plenty of other, more trustworthy, nicer people out there to hang around with.
It all seemed to come to a head on Wednesday. Short fictions seems to be the root of the problems. We started workshopping then me and Ben went to give Moy some work for her to look over and it wound up being a bit of a therapy session. I almost cried. I've never been one to give up on people easily and it just feels like we are giving up on Kim. I think what hurt the most was that we were really good friends at the beginning of the year and it's disintegrated into this awkwardness. And we can't go back. But, I'm trying. This is day two of not talking about her, and she's been a bit more pleasant, so I can't complain too much.
These next few weeks are going to be weird. Sam's birthday next weekend and Gary pisses off to Morrocco on his geography trip, Kim's birthday and You Me At Six and Gary's return the weekend after, Enter Shikari on the 20th, independent study hand in on the 23rd (hoping to have it in on the 20th/21st though) and going out for Ben's birthday to Pizza Express somewhere in between all that. It's going to be weird, stressful, but hopefully fun.
Oh, and I passed my censorship essay.
