So this week has been a bit of a whirlwind.
On Monday, we had a workshop session at Muffin Break. Me and Ben were there so very early, as usual. So we ate chocolate cheesecake to pass the time till Annie arrived. Followed by Sam and Alex. It was fairly productive. Then, we came home and carried on working, and watched Made in Chelsea. Tuesday we had lecture 1-4, but prior to that I had my wellbeing appointment (we'll get to that) at 11. So me and boyfriend chilled in uni for an hour or so after. Wednesday we had our final short fictions lecture with Moy, then came back and worked. Boyfriend came round last night, and we watched Saw - yes I manned up and watched a horror film. With my eyes covered and shrieking for most of the gory bits, mind. Then he's hung around this morning and watched some telly.
My wellbeing appointment was weird. I felt a bit nervous going in, but I know they're not there to judge and make assumptions. I didn't get chance to cover all that I wanted to. Most of it was focusing in on the Kim situation and how that has been affecting me and my insecurities. She suggested I have counselling, and I have decided I'm going to. So I'm going up to uni in a bit to try and sort that out.
In a way, it dragged up a lot of feelings I had forgotten and Tuesday night I felt really awful. I talked to Ben about it for ages, and did some of my reading report, but I felt really numb and empty. I couldn't focus on my work, and then Kim was causing facebook drama, so I got side tracked with that. Annie was texting me and Gary was bbm-ing and then my Mum rang and Rachel and Liz were texting me. It's nice to have support, but it didn't make me feel better. I had a shower and got into bed, and on Wednesday morning I woke up crying. I'm all over the place at the moment. It happened again this morning, I just burst into tears whilst we were eating breakfast.
It's for no reason too. I don't know if it's hormones or just the old feelings coming back and hitting me at random moments. But I want it to stop. I need to figure out my way through this, and counselling is probably the only way I'm going to manage that.
The rest of this week is going to be so dull. One week today we hand everything in and that's it. University is finished. On the 3rd, we have our final ever creative writing social. Then on the 4th Aden's organised a party at ours then on to Mosh. Cannot wait. I have missed the metal floor and cheap VS's far too much.
